happy birthday sean...

yesterday was sean's birthday....


happy birthday sean...i can't believe you're still not 40!! you shit! hope you had a good one....

:)

chicago chicago!

ok....it’s only tuesday..and i already feel i’ve been through the wringer.

last night i went to look at the schedule at work for the next episode...and i’m on it for friday that i’m suppose to fly to chicago!! what the f___K. no one had even said anything to me. it’s just there....

so i took diane aside this morning to have a talk. last episode...i was suppose to have a day off to go to the doctor. my foot is really sore on the top... i can only wear summer shoes. luckily the weather is still good. anyway...i didn’t find out until 7pm the day before that i had the next day off....too late to make a doctors appointment.

and now this.... my trip to chicago may be cancalled. i was pretty upset to say the least but still negotiating to get it off. it was looking a little better later on today......

update later on that....

:)

message from a friend

A good friend of mine gave me an valuable piece of advice once....someone who's opinion I trust. But for some stupid reason....I'm not following it.

It's not that its so hard to follow or that I don't want to follow it. I just have let life take me for a ride...without thinking....as I tend to do. Following my heart and not my head.

anyway....maybe I can learn from my mistakes....maybe I can't.
A little late...maybe...but I'm going to try.

thanks Roger.....you're a good friend.
  
i miss you...

:)

ok. let's see...

here is a pic i took tonight from the courtyard of my apt...

just thought it looked nice out there...

i had a great time dancing last night. it was almost like the old days before roger and lucky moved and jordan got occupied by a girlfriend that didn't like him to dance. i had so many fantastic dances.

i meet anne for dinner before hand at wazubee. as i was waiting for a table brenda showed up...a dj from seattle. so i invited her to sit with us and have a wee chin wag before she had to run to the legion for her first set.

brenda is an awesome woman and she spins some mean tunes. anne and i had soo much fun talking with her. i have to say.....it’s funny......anne say’s this too. anytime i meet a woman that i connect with...she is rarely from vancouver!! very often she isn’t even from this country! it’s so weird. i wish i know why...or how i can change it. i probably would have WAY more friends....

or maybe i should think again about moving...

:)

closet romantic

i think of myself as hopeless romantic trying to get out of the closet....

i have often hid it. i’m trying not to do that now. i make no excuses for it....there is nothing wrong with. and contrary to popular belief....yes i can be an independent, strong woman and be a romantic at the same time!!

i still believe in love. i believe that even at 41....it might seem silly....that there is a love out there of me....for everyone. i think you just have to be open to it and not afraid.

i’ve seen the power of love. the strength of it can make you overcome unimaginable obstacles.....

the sacrifice being a pleasure. an unusual thought....perhaps? not something everyone can understand...i realise that.

the ideas of a romantic. knowing love.....letting it in...and enjoying the joy and pain of it.

with pleasure.....

:)

more retro...

here's a retro pic of me with the boys....doing my best emma peel impression

i've always liked that picture. that's kinda how i remember being...playing with the boys in the gravyard and down in the woods next to our house. playing with toy guns or snow ball fights. i remember having a huge crush on robbie o'brian.....even back then i had a thing for the celts!

i rarely did girly things. i always had just one female friend and to this day...i don't really get along with many women. i don't get them. the ones i do get...are usually like me. sometimes i wonder if that just because i've always been surrounded by lots of guys and i like the attention they give me. they make me feel special i suppose. i think that's also one of the reasons i like partner dancing...same thing.

i wonder if that’s why some men like hanging around with lots of women...for the same reason.

just a thought....

:)

retro blog....

here is a retro pic of me with sovy age four or five in waterdown.....


retro blog....i’ve posted this one a few times..but that’s ok.

from my blog april 25, 2006
“ It’s the little things that make you want to be with people...the simple things...the silly things. Like driving around on a nice spring evening chatting and having a slurpee.”


these are the things that we remember people by. the things that make them special to us.

the way they smile, laugh or a certain mannerism they have. things that make them unique and loveable. it's the essence of them.
....or maybe you remember something you did together...something fun or silly or hard.

every now and again you see or smell something...and you think...hey...that reminds me of him or her and you get kind of a sad, happy....shit i miss them, kinda feeling.....all rolled into one.

:)

monday monday....

...back to work.

i spent the whole day shopping for stuff that will just have to be returned another day. they changed their minds on the direction of a character at 6 pm......crap.

so there i was shopping on robson st... 7pm... in the poring rain...looking for summer clothes in september. i did surprisingly well actually.....pulled another one out of my ass.

that’s what i’m good at.....that’s what i do.

goodtimes......i guess so?

i just like this pic...

:)

good vibrations

so..i just finished the workshops. wow....

odd things happen when you do something that much in a short period of time....way more than is natural. your body starts functioning on a completely different level. it’s kinda comparable to the feeling i had in my body after skydiving...but it seems to last longer from dancing......your body tingles all over. you know when it wears off...you’re gonna be sore...but for now it’s this lovely buzz all over. it’s probably adrenaline. you keep functioning even thought your body really is spent.....kinda like being on drugs i guess.....but it’s natural. i think it might still be addictive...but what hell..there is worse things you can be addicted to !!

well....it’s nap time...then off dancing again! tonight it’s the andy gump band!

:)

dancing fool...`

sorry... i haven’t updated in a couple of days!

....that’s b/c i’ve been a dancing fool.

big workshop weekend. classes all day and a band every night. my tootsies are a wee bit sore. i still have a full day tomorrow... but no matter. i had a super fun night tonight. dancing my face of to the toons of solamans swingtet. quite a few people were in from out of town for it, from seattle, bellingham, calgary....there was even one girl from new zealand...well...she was already visiting and heard about it...but still pretty cool.

ok...better get to bed...more workshops tomorrow.

:)

dreaming of indian summer

i used to love fall in ontario...the freshness and crispness in the air was a welcome change from the stifling heat of the summer. you could wear a jacket again and real shoes. it was good. it was still sunny...just cool and sunny. the leaves...well....ecpecially in ottawa and quebec. they were the best there. i miss the colour. something about warm dry days mixed with cold nights that would make them especially bright some years. we would drive in the gataneux....just to see them. it was like watching fireworks in the forest....

i often get a little home sick at this time of year. vancouver fall’s are wet, dark and gloomy. it gets to my bones and stays there.

you walk into a store or coffee shop and they have all the doors and windows open. sometimes it’s colder inside than out. i never quite got that one.

in a way it seems worse b/c we were so spoilt this year with such an awesome summer.

thinking about another winter in rainy vancouver....ugh....it makes me just want to drink tea and curl up in bed.
oh and the very worst of it....no more showboat......

:)

....and somedays are quiet days

sometimes it’s just good to have a quiet day.
and that’s what i did...for the most part.... today.

i saw garnet off this morning...he’s gone to ashcroft (spl?) for ten days to blow stuff up on the set of "shooters"...(don’t ask me where that is...it’s somewhere in BC!) call me crazy but....i’ll miss the guy.

had coffee with a friend this morning..that was nice. then had tea with a new therapist. i haven’t been to see a therapist in many years. i’m not usually a fan of them.....but she seems good. i like her...and it’s good to talk about things. the only thing is...it takes alot out of me. basically that was my day. i had to go home and sleep after that. i’m also trying to get over the last bit of a cold.

oh yeah...and i’m bidding on this life magazine on ebay.....

it’s one i have wanted for awhile...hope i get it!

ok..i'm hungry...i'm going to make dinner consisting of lamb chops i bought at whole foods last week with some veggies i took out of garn’s fridge this morning. well...someone has to eat them! lol

...maybe i'll do some laundry later...and that's pretty much it!

:)

some days are better than others...

some days i wake up just feeling beat up.

emotionally, physically and psychologically......beat.



today is one of those days....

:)

point in time....

i often think about points in time. what brings you to a point....that very point...what decisions and events that have to happen to bring you there......not just your’s...but other’s as well?

what might have happened if one thing were different .....sometimes thinking about that freaks me out...and sometimes i just enjoy contemplating it.

i contemplate how some really amazing events in this world..... needed everything to be just right to make them happen......and some bad things as well.....

b/c it can’t be denied that you are only at this point right now...this very second...you can balance on this point for awhile.....try and hold on..... teeter a bit......aannnd then it’s gone.

gone forever......never to return..........

and that’s just how it is.

:)

strawberry in september

nothing too exciting i guess...a lone strawberry. i ate it right away after i took the pic. it was yummy.....

:)

fire....

wow....what a fire!!


the action is non stop in my hood tonight. i took these pictures from the court yard of our building! the biggest fire i have ever been witness to was just blocks away from my house tonight when i came home from work.

it was probably a meth lab or something.....apparently it went up really fast! i bet randy...anne’s boyfriend is there fighting it...hope everyone is ok.



:)

olympia....or is it olympic?.... fish and chippy

last night at about 6pm...i found myself on robson st....tired...still had a few stores to go to...when...i saw two smiling faces in the window of Olympia fish and chips.......


what a sight for sore eyes. it was mishi and garbs...so they invited me to join them. mishi shared some of her dinner with me. what i have heard is right.....olympia has really good fish and chips...maybe the best in town. it only took me how long?....12 years to find any decent fish and chips place! ok..this is the bad part...they are closing down in october!! ..but i just found them,.....crap. i’ll have to eat alot of fish and chips between now and then!

anyway...back to story after that mishi accompanied me to american eagle and guess to buy crap for the show...she carried some bags we chatted...mostly about garnet..hehe.... good stuff only of course.....it was fun.

then i when to see garnet for some leftover blueberry pie! yummmm

:)

good bye summer

the long weekend is coming to a close...it was a good one.

...... everyone knows about the skydiving part. i spent the rest of the weekend.... driving people crazy talking about my skydiving experience!!

i also did some dancing in abbotsford. where i got a ..”hey you went skydiving”...dance circle. (a dance circle is when everyone forms a circle around you and you dance a song and different partners cut in through out the song...people clap..it’s fun. usually you get one when it’s your birthday or your going away.

today i basically did errands and cleaned a bit. then went to whole foods with garn and garb...then later mishi and corie joined us for some fun and yummy bbq.

summer's basically over..although it won't be the last bbq. one good thing about vancouver....bbq almost all year round.

:)

i did it!!

here i go...almost at 12,500ft!


omg!!! that was fun. i had a goofy smile on my face from beginning to end...i still do!

for anyone who's thinking of doing it...go for it. i wasn't scared at all. the only scary part really was leaving my house this morning..then when i first jumped out of the plane..i had a hard time breathing. other than that, it was all good. the best part is when the shoot opens...it becomes really peaceful.....awesome!! i got to pull the cord...it was great!!

i had a great diver to take me up...steve...a friend of garnet's, also in the spfx dept. apparently he's an expert diver...done it all over the world. people seemed impressed that i was going up with him...strangers were coming up to me saying how lucky i am! we did a bunch of spins and stuff..it was great...and i got to steer a bit. even though we were one of the first to jump...we landed after everyone....i guess he just knows how to fly so you get more time out of it!!

thanks steve....you're freaking awesome!!!

jumping out of the plane..what the f___!

the weird thing is...that your brain can't seem to comprehend what's happening...it's super surreal


landing...we fell after this pic was taken

we did it!!


wow...that's was fun...lets go again!!
:):):):):)