#28

i remember my mother saying every time we moved...”i hate to think of how many times i’ve moved”...well i thought about it... and for me it’s twenty 28! that’s...lets see..i need a calculator.... that’s an average of every 1.4642857 years! well...i guess i’m doing better b/c i’ve been here exactly two years..... that’’s .5357143 of a year better...hmmmm....

sure that includes when i was a baby moving from england to toronto...i don’t remember that one.

moving from toronto to waterdown. which is one of my first memories.... noticing that i had an attic in my room...so i didn’t want to leave. i think that was toronto.

saying good bye to the empty house in waterdown with my brothers, is pretty clear in my head too....it makes me feel a little sad....

i don’t really remember leaving ottawa....i lived in alot of places in ottawa...7 in total...two of which burnt down after i left ...i swear it wasn’t me! actually i do sorta remember leaving ottawa the first time on our way to virginia...mum was upset b/c mrs cofftry didn’t invite us in for a cuppa or a drink on our last day.

virginia i don’t remember leaving...but i sure do remember arriving in tokyo...wow! that one is hard to forget as a kid of 14 never really been out of north america much. eye opener doesn’t begin to describe it. i remember the strange sounds in the airport....the smell when i went ouside....from the pollution...the train we took from narita, through what looked like slums to me at the time....but i’m sure now, that they weren’t....it was hot.....really really hot...it must have been aug.

i remember leaving tokyo the last time...staying at a narita airport hotel.... dad said to me and peter to do what we wanted our last night. we spent, i don’t know how much, in the hotel bar drinking singapore slings all night!!!.....that was when i didn’t get hang overs.....peter is a bad influence....hehe....we were in trouble when that visa bill came in!

toronto.....wow.....i lived in three places the last of which took the longest to get over...i loved that apartment...a little coach house on top of an antique store......my first place, really on my own. i use to dream about it afterwards.....it was such a great place...even though it was haunted and not to code. i actually went there last time i was in TO...it’s still there. the antique store isn’t. it’s a chi-chi home decor place now.....and the people who live there probably don’t need the keys to the store to get in at night. that one shocked a few people!

anyway, now here in vancouver...god knows how many years later. i’ve done 8 moves here in total.....three of which i was kicked out of for various reasons...one i only lived in for a week! the owner didn’t speak english very well and didn’t understand us when we said we had cats.

ok well......here we go # 28....lets see how it goes......i’m sure it won’t be the last!


:)

brains and beauty....

tom and gloria sent pics of julia and eleanor at there graduation from grade 8...congrats you two.

julia was named valedictorian ...wow! sorry guys it looks like the women in our family got most the brains AND the beauty genes.......


well i should get back to packing. first i have to finish my sunomono salad and sushi. i'm on a raw fish and salad diet...well not really...i'm just trying loose the few pounds i picked up eating croissants and baguettes in europe.

:)

spanish banks

went to spanish banks tonight for a little doggie walking. between 8:30-9:30pm, is really the best time to go. people are out doing all kinds of things....the sun is starting to set...it’s nice,

the dogs love it too!! the cold water wakes them right up turns them into little puppies again..it’ s cute. i think i’m going to try and do it more often now summer is finally here....

other than that my life really has been mainly about packing boxes for the big move. i know i’m only moving floors but it’s so much easier and to move things that are boxed. i remember once moving within the same building...at Kam’s place....”the haunted castle”....and we didn’t really pack and it was hell...the move took forever.

oh...and i guess the big news today, is i probably go back to work next wed or thurs. as usual i’m not done 1/2 the stuff i set out to do during my holidays......oh boy.

well, at least I’m not out of money this time! which is really good....does that mean i have savings?? wow...what should i do with it? look i’m already trying to spend it!...i’m hopeless.....


have a great day everyone!

:)

silly little things....

it’s the little things that are special to me.....all kinds of little things. i think i wrote something about this before.....but i guess i feel like doing it again....

things like going for a slurpee or ice cream....making me something that’s just for me or holding the door open....or a flower.

these things that make me feel special and mean something to me.

i know it sounds silly....i know.

i call myself a closet romantic b/c people are often surprised when they find out i’m like that. sometimes it makes me feel silly...sometimes i misinterpret things to mean one thing.... and they don’t....

:)

eating cherries....

ok..today... as a day, had mixed reviews....started the day off with usual coffee and paper. read a lovely article in the paper about how doctors are saying, again now... that women should have babies before 35-40 or they are fucked.....hmmmm.....well i guess i am a little late on that one......i suppose by 41 that’s something i should know....if i want a kid or not. i wonder if it is time to close that chapter in my life....

i wonder if that hope...to make the world right side around again, is gone now? WHAT.... the world is round....what next?!

maybe i should take kim’s advice on that one. she put it well once...as she often does.....”just because i don’t hold all aces, doesn’t mean i can’t win the game”......that’s kim.

i think everyone should check this zefrank eps.... today’s was a good one......
http://www.zefrank.com/theshow/#

one positive today...i got my funky fretag bag form switzerland!

and it came in a cool bag as well!!


i went to the chiropractor today...i hurt my back on friday...big time, cleaning out my lock up. i’ve been in some major pain since then. i think the robaxisal has stopped working and my head may split open at any moment. sean say's the emotional baggage weighs more than the actual boxes and that's why my back hurts. i don't know...he may have a point. it was a hard work and i probably should give myself a break.

i should be packing right now for my move to my new air conditioned apartment!....but b/c of the old back i’m lying on the couch eating cherries......

ok...maybe i'll pick myself up and make myself some fried chicken and just start slowly packing boxes. i’ve never fried chicken before. i thought i would make my own version of a shake and bake....but with masala and tandoori spices....who knows it might be good...wish me luck!

:)

ps- my apologies to those who put up with reading my depressive ranting for the last few days.....i’m going to try and change that and thanks.

ok....

....add paranoid, absent minded and a terrible speller to the list.

and i also get on well with people that other people just don’t get.

i try not to judge but often fail miserably...

:)

this is me....

i have some undesirable qualities.....i also hope i have some loveable ones and maybe some that overlap.

i’m a MESS...yes with a capital everything!! messy eater...messy apartment.....messy finances .....messy mental state at times....just one plain mess.

my mother use to call me argumentative and temperamental....for years she called me that...she should know i guess.

sometimes the argumentative thing comes in handy.... sometimes it gets me into a load of shit.

i have trust issues...sometimes i am too trusting when i shouldn’t be......and pay for it.....sometimes i don’t trust enough when i should.....and pay for that too.

i’m also head strong, stubborn, impatient, immature, a perfectionistic- procrastinator (not a good combo that one!) I'm competitive and sometimes i crave too much attention ....sometimes not....oh and i think i might have a touch of some kind of compulsive disorder and/or ADD!!

wow...all that sounds lovely, doesn’t it?!



ok...wait a minute....back up.... (imagine scraching on record noise here).....i’m also a lot of the opposite....i hope.

i care about people....not all people...but people that are important in my life.
i would go out of my way to help a friend.
i’m reliable. if i say i’m going to do something...i do it...usually
i’m a creative thinker and artist.
i try to look at the positive...i’ve had to at times to survive
i laugh
i'm strong
i’m independent...sometimes too much and sometimes not enough.
sometimes i’m smart, sometimes silly....
i’m sensitive
8 ball say’s....there is a good possibility....that i’m psychic.
i’m emotional...hmmm....maybe that should be in the bad column!
oh ya and i'm crazy....no, bad column also.........shit.

ok...so my bad column is bigger....but hopefully some of the lines are blurry.

:)

you will never know...2

i was in metrotown mall today and watching new kittens in a pet shop window. as i watched them i thought about how differently each kitten reacts to each other and their surroundings. each one an individual. each one a different reaction to the same situation. it reminded me of something i posted awhile ago.

so i thought i would repost part of it.....i think it was written on one of my saner days....just as a reminder to myself.




You just never know what’s going on with peoples lives until you’ve lived them.....

well, since you can never live them...

I like to think I care about what’s going on in peoples lives my family and friends anyway. But I don’t pretend to understand them. I don’t. No one does. Every one has their own truths and experiences.......


......Don’t try to understand me and I promise I won’t try to understand you....just love me!

Deal?

:)

i'm sorry....

ok....here it goes....

i fucked up big time on saturday evening. i know that. i’m not making excuses for it. i know what i did.

then.... in an effort to fix things...i made things worse!! shit...how did i do that?!

now i want to fix things....i just don't know how. i hope to be forgiven....i guess that’s all i can do.

that and say.....i like you the way you are....really...i do. ox... :(

worst coffee ever...

ok, maybe not worst...but pretty damn bad....

so i went to jj’beans for coffee this morning....like i’ve been doing every morning since i haven’t been working and in town. i usually have a soy latte and read their paper. sometimes i even bump into people i know. it’s a nice way to start off the day.

anyway...today was hot. so i thought to myself...why don’t i have something different ..maybe one of those iced coffee drinks.

OMG!!! who drinks these things?! there was soooo much sugar and caffeine that as soon as i had one sip..i almost went into shock!

i had road rage and the jitters all day...hey. just had a thought maybe that’s what’s wrong with vancouver drivers. the are all hopped up on iced vanilla lattes!

i'm going back to soy lattes.

have a great weekend!

:)

is it a full moon?

after driving around in circles downtown last night looking for a parking spot. i realised ...well... actually, someone pointed it out for me...that it was high time i renew my business plate in order to widely expand my parking options. so i drove down to city hall today to do just that.

while i was there an odd thing happened....

i was writing the cheque and i looked down at my handwriting and...i recognised it....i recognised it as my former hand writing. not the hurried crazy hand writing i’ve come accustomed to over the past.... i don’t know how many years. the stuff that even i can’t read. it was calm, legible writting....stared at it for awhile in a stunned silence. the lady that was helping me was looking at me funny when i finally came down the planet earth.

hey...were have you been??? wow...welcome back i guess....

:)

happy solstice

happy solstice everybody....do something fun with your extra long evening.

i’m going to enjoy mine with a lovely doggie walk, watch some baseball and maybe have some ice cream.

jennifer multi tasks....smoking and pitching!


the days just get shorter for here on in.......
oh well...

:)

throw that out!!!

the adventures of cleaning out the crap from my apartment continues....why am i storing taxes from 1996?

wow...lot's of garbage!...chloe plots her escape



not garbage.... funny food at topanga last night. whip cream and olives?...ok maybe it's garbage


:)

box of memories

i remember the feeling of those warm tears as they fill my eyes, then start to fall down my cheek. i remember how i liked the rain.....b/c i could walk and let them fall freely. i remember them with a sweetness....i miss them in an odd way...i can’t explain.

with life ever changing, it’s hard sometimes to believe that things were ever the way they were.

busy making new memories. every now and again i get afraid i will forget the old ones. sometimes i just want to hold on to them...before they are gone.....bring the important ones inside for safe keeping...and throw the rest away.

good bye dear tessah.....i’ll put you in a box of memories for safe keeping....until next time...

:)

sunday...city of the rose

....happy birthday tessah rose.

sat afternoon (after the garage sale)... garnet and i decided to drive down to portland, with a stop in seattle on the way. we looked at some art, shopped, ate and generally wandered around. came back last night after a beautiful meal. it was the perfect thing for me to do really....and the weather was great!

portland is the city of roses...so it’s kind of fitting that that’s where i ended up this weekend.

i also bought this cute toy while i was away....


:)

garage sale day

ok, it was a busy weekend starting off with the garage sale sat...we did pretty good. had lots of people and i think there might be another next week. which would be great b/c then i could get rid of some of the crap from my lock up.



garage sale cohorts mishi and peter


ok...i know i’m in trouble for this one...
garnet say’s he isn’t a geek.....buying toys with the neighbours wireless

sorry g..i just couldn't help myself.


:)

breeze from the wind...

ok i had another thought today as i did a bit of grocery shopping on the drive.

there is also another quote from the same book i wanted to share. i was actually looking for a different one at the time but found this instead....

“.....there are no random acts. that we are all connected. that you can no more separate one life from another than you can separate a breeze from the wind.”

i thought that was kind of a beautiful phrase.

oh... that thought i had....i think i shared it already in a round about way...i just needed it to form a bit more clearly in my mind....

:)

a rose for a rose....

flowers arrived for me today. a beautiful pink rose with a lovely fragrance. every year they come.... from mum and dad. they never forget.

why?...b/c they are my parents and they care.

earlier today i was thinking about what i might be doing right now if tessah was here....getting ready for an 8 year olds birthday party, maybe.

then that started me thinking about this quote from a book i read recently....the 5 people you meet in heaven....

“sacrifice is a part of life. it’s suppose to be. it’s not something to regret. it’s something to aspire to. little sacrifices. big sacrifices. sometimes when you sacrifice something precious, you’re not really losing it. you’re just passing it in to someone else.”

and then something popped into my head that i had never considered before. it made me feel.... i don’t know....ok i guess.

i’ve always known that i love and miss tessah but i suppose she probably loves and misses me as well.

because not only does a parent never stop being a parent....no matter what. but a daughter or never stops being a daughter or a son a son. that’s something tessah taught me...among many other things.... in her short life here on earth.

and i‘m thankful for that.

:)

short and sweet

last night's blog was way too long...so i thought i would make tonights is short and sweet.

tonight was showboat night and i know i promised some pics of it earlier. so here they are...

magic hour at kit's beach




...the sleepy photographer




hey look i'm spinning out of control!


:)

cutting out the crap

ok well...i’m having a garage sale with a few friends this weekend, so i thought i should spring clean and see what i can sell. it’s great b/c it will help me with my move. i still have to tackle that storage locker though....i got a few boxes out of there but it’s a job for sure. don’t think i’ll get that one done before the weekend. oh well. i’ll have my apt all organized...just in time to move. isn’t that always the way.

it can be fun going through old stuff. there is kind of a fine line really between crap and sentimental. some things i have a hard time getting rid of. jewellery is one of them. i have tons of jewellery i haven't even considered wearing since 1982...but when i look at it i remember when i wore it to death. it brings back memories of that time period i suppose. i can never throw photos away either...even if every one in the pic looks like shit. it's like they are sacred. now all my pics are on my computer....i guess i should consider back up...b/c if something happens to my computer...there go all the pics! letters i keep.... cards rarely... depending on the sender and the sentiment. i wonder what the difference is...between a letter and a card that makes one more valuable in my mind? letters are pretty rare these days. although i have a hard time deleting email also....hmmmm...

ok...change o subject....took the doggies for a little walk tonight. garnet and some of his friends were playing baseball and we went for a little look see and throw the ball. daisy got all nervous b/c of all the people playing games at the park. she tried to get on my lap....i don’t think she knows this...but she ain’t no lap dog!

anyway, afterwards we went for ice cream...yummy. oh, that's another area i'm trying to cut out the crap....my diet. well, i had sortbet, it's probably not too bad....oh well.

don't believe everything you read.

saw something funny in the vancouver sun yesterday, i though i would share.

“we have all heard the rags to riches story of bryan adams by now...how he was working as a bus boy at tomahawk......” blah blah blah

what?!....if son of a diplomat rubbing elbows with dignitaries at embassy parties means rags....then ya.

it’s interesting how the news can put there own slant on things....just by leaving stuff out. people do that also. is it lying to leave stuff out? i don't know...but it makes you wonder about what you read. (ok. this is nothing new to me...i'm not that naive, but just a wee reminder i suppose.

ya, i’m pretty sure bryan worked at tomahawk as a bus boy...but he was far from hurting. he comes from a nice upper middle class family.

i guess.... embassy brat to riches just doesn’t have the same rock and roll ring to it!

:)

my new dance shoes are red!!

and here they are....

more birthday pics...

sunday's a good night for indian food...

last night i had a lovely birthday dinner at vij’s with garnet, wade, danielle, mishi and garbs....oh..and corie joined us for dessert.

the food was unbelievable as always. it wasn’t too crasy busy. i guess sunday is a good night to go. they don’t take reservations which sometimes makes it impossible to go there...especially on a friday or a sat night. not sure what the reasoning is for that one...probably to create a buzz by making it seem busier than it really is. anyway....wade and danielle graciously got there early to put our names down and we didn’t have to wait. which was awesome!



wow....wade smiling!

wade and danielle

i also got some great presies....

more pics to come....
:)

junkies don't get sundays off...

i've been missing gardening a whole lot. garnet said i can plant on his patio..give it some colour. so we hopped in his new element today...filled it up with plants and i spent a nice afternoon planting the stuff. it was great.

garnet lives in gastown. he lives in a nice loft but not the best part of town...junky central really. there are efforts being made to change the area...but i don't see how they can do that. things are too far gone now. so...vancouver housing market as it is.... people with money are moving in around the down and outers. condos going up..expensive ones that sell within a day or two..some worth millions of dollars. if i had a million dollars to spend..i would buy a place where i have to step over a junky when i leave my apt...would you? do these people really think the government is going to come in a clean house for them??? we shall see....

anyway...the reason i started in on this tangent. as i planted 5 floors up....i listened to the sounds of the city...the sounds of a very busy neighbourhood. the noise just doesn't stop...you hear all kinds of things...it's pretty incredible. hard to explain really. i wonder if anyone has ever recorded it? that could be interesting. i would like to do that...if i knew anything about recording. i found it especially interesting that i couldn't see what was going on...only listen and imagine. these people they are super busy....animated....i guess it's a hard job, what ever it is they do down there... and i don't think they get a day off.

:)

make a wish...

one tactfully placed candle...

hey... who managed to get a picture of dyan..and what's she doing to paulus?

mishi makes corie's hair pretty

anne and me

thanks for those who came last night and for all my lovely birthday wishes...
:)

deal.

ok...so i made a deal!
i made a deal with diane..(my boss). and hey.....i’m pretty proud of myself. i’m not always so good at asking for what i want but i hope i’m learning.

we set a deal b/c she can’t find anyone to replace me...but she won’t admit that..but whatever.

i’m going to work 6 out of the 8 day eps....meaning for every 6 working days..i get two working days off!!! same hourly pay...and i get to do what i’m best at...shopping....and leave the rest of the shit to the other slobs!! i will miss the dyeing but i can do that on my own time.

the trade?..... little less pay at the end of the month...but what am i trading it for?...my life and i think that’s a pretty good deal indeed.

oh and i don’t have to start for about three weeks!! even better!

i’m happy.


tonight i will be going out for drinks and dancing with some friends...sorta pre-birthday thingy.

well i was born at 6:15 am in england so that would make it 10:15pm here...tonight! happy birthday to me.

f____ing thank you...

i suppose some days are meant to be un eventful. life is just like that. but why when going about our daily routines ...why not in the mean time...while we are waiting for events to happen...why then can’t people be polite, courteous and friendly ....hey maybe say how are things?

people in vancouver are generally unfriendly. it’s a peeve of mine these days. the thing that kills me is.... vancouverites THINK they are friendly...not sure where that come from...maybe they use to be? who knows.

i don’t know what the rest of this country is like, i can’t really remember....but when i was in paris people always said good day when i came in their shop. they always said pardon madam when they passed me in the street, your welcome when you said thank you ...good bye when you left somewhere. (in french of course..but i don't know how to spell the french words!) anyway...you would see people chatting with the local butcher. i had a few people chatted with me in french...even though they knew i could really understand...but it was just their way. i tried my best to respond and nod my head...so they knew they weren't talking to thin air.

today i ordered some meats from my local deli. i had to ask the girl if she had heard me...b/c she didn’t acknowledge that i had said anything....then when i got my meat i said thank you...she said nothing. ok...is your welcome too much to ask? i wanted to say to her......HEY...I F@#%ING SAID....F@#*ING THANK YOU!!!...ok... maybe that wouldn’t go over so well.....

so what can you do? nothing i guess...what can you do? accept it? move? i don't know....

:)

i haven't moved....

for those of you in my crazy family who think i have....
I HAVEN'T MOVED YET!!!! ok??
i don't move until july 1st...canada day weekend....i'll keep you posted.

ok....i'm a bit bummed today b/c it's thursday,..showboat day. it's been nice all week...until now!! it will probably be nice tomorrow. so i can't dance by the beach...hopefully next week.

:)

dd's b-day...

happy birthday dyan!

yesterday was dyan’s birthday.... 06/06/06...so we had a get together at a nice indian restaurant in north van. we all...well most of us...wore red. it was good...lots of dyan’s friends were there. sean and tara, jacqueline and patrick...all the old gang....some people i hadn’t seen in awhile.

garnet was nice enough to be my date...it’s never easy meeting a whole bunch of new people at once...but he did great.
i brought my camera...but i didn’t take any pic’s..sorry, i’m bad about that.

it’s a very social week this week...lots of birthday’s and dinners...including my own this weekend...boy oh boy...last year i was old..this year i’ll be even older!

:)

clowns to the left of me....

....jokers to the right...here i am stuck in the middle with you. that's is a great line! it could mean all kinds of things...especially in part.

oliver and terin get into the spirit of things



i went to the sing along at the railway club...with a bunch of swing dancers. basically what happens is the band plays 70 & 80’s tunes good and bad...and the whole bar sings along and makes total fools out of themselves. swing dancers are use to this...so it come naturally....silliness is good!
:)

abby love!!

i love abbotsford! abbotsford is a town east of vancouver about 45mins the #1. it's not very big...but they have an amazing swing scene.

last night i went dancing at the legion and it was quite dissappointing...but tonight i drove to abby...and it never disappoints. i danced almost every song...from 9-11pm...it was awesome.

thanks abby...i needed that.

:)

rhyme or reason.

i have two friends, both male, under thirty, healthy life style...no drugs, booze or cig’s....previously fit....both dancers...and they both have seemingly mysterious debilitating illnesses. no cure...b/c no one knows what’s wrong with them.

how does that work??

....kinda makes you want to throw your hands up, have a smoke and a stiff drink...b/c there is no rhyme or reason....really.

get better dan.

:)

green thumb

my rare orchid bloomed once again. (don't ask me the name) the person i bought this from told me there was no way i could grow this in a pot on a patio. this is the fourth year that it's bloomed!! i guess that guy had never meet a lynch women and her ultra green thumb!! hehe

i remember my grandmother telling me if i gave her a cut flower..any cut flower she could put it in the ground, and it would grow. i was amazed by this....now i know...i can do that also.
:)

hugs

i feel like i didn’t do anything today...even though i did..i did plenty. i think it’s just getting back to the daily grind of the day to day has got me a little down.

when i look at the day it was actually quite nice...

i had some appointments, met wade and danielle for coffee, had sushi with anne..watched some tv. hey--i even got a few hugs....

what more could a girl possibly ask for?
:)