no mascara day....

I went to the doctor today....my doctors a good guy....I like him...but he
basically told me I'm getting old....tests to confirm...tba.

He didn't say I was getting old...but that's what I heard. He said I'm
experiencing some of the symptoms of pre menopause. I know that...its just hard
to hear.

I think somewhere in the back of my mind I still have this little hope....that
is slowly fading...I don't even know if I want it to come true or not....but the death
of that possibility is closer. 

So....I will have tests...maybe do some diet stuff....some hormone therapy. we
will see if I go back to being that sane yet only slightly insane, Independent
positive girl , I hope you all know and love. i don't want to got through ten years of hell...not for me.

Side note for mum....sorry for not understanding all those years ago. I think
I'm starting to understand how lonely that may have felt.

:)