anytime i hear if a death...even if it isn’t someone close...it effects me. it effects me deeply.
it’s been the years since tessah's death. nine years almost exactly. you think these things will get easier....but they don’t. they just don’t. certain moments in life...bring it all crashing back....
like the other day...i bumped into kate. she had twins just after tessah....one died. i saw her in a coffee shop the other day. she was with her daughter. her daughter is 9... the same age as tessah would be now. she’s big. it reminds me of the years that have past by....the baby now a big kid.
sometimes it’s hard to keep the hope up...it just is. i think...when is my time...when do i get that happy life? ...it just makes me feel incredibly alone.
i’m doing the usual things that make me happy...but they aren’t working. i don’t think i should feel the need to cry at the sing a long....that seems wrong.
i have to say i’m worried...i’m worried about myself and my life right now...
i just am
:)
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Jox, when death comes to visit it is just to remember us we are not plenty of time, that this will be over soon. Tessah didn't have the time. You do. So, hurry up! Dont waste your time. I know how it hurts deep inside. But try to enjoy, as much as you can, for you, and for her.
kisses,
lulu
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